IF

This is the poem (by Rudyard Kipling) that still gives me goosebumps even though I have read it umpteen number of times! A real inspiring poem that bails you out of all possible mood swings!

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

the year in store!

ah.. its almost an year... last post was dated august 2009. My birthday is approaching fast ... actually on august 5th, it will be another year gone.

Today , while I was lying on the bed, in a futile attempt to sleep by 11 pm, i recalled all my childhood dreams of being a civil servant, a doctor, engineer, businessman .... and what not, before i realized that i wasn't made for any of them! Not because i can't achieve most of them... rather i don't find them worth any effort anymore!

for me atleast, the famous "college mein knowledge" funda doesn't seem to work ... When I think of this postgraduate degree which is about to be conferred upon me is, i feel having wasted my 7 precious years... chasing something that I never wanted to have... Its not that this degree won't be detrimental in me getting a nice job and making me financially independent... Indeed this degree is the only thing that will ensure this 'financial' freedom. May be this would not have left a sour taste if I were not at my present institute... may be a third rung private college would have treated me better! I wanted my university education to be like my vidyapith, a man making and character building education.... but this education has almost killed the man in me... and no point in commenting on character building! It is so unfortunate that we don't realize the worth of things when we get them for free! I feel so disgusted when I am at my 'prestigious' institute of 'national importance'!

I feel like a sheenless, stinky ass...i want to sleep for next couple of years before I find myself energised enough to make a fresh start... but can't even do that... dunno what next is in store for me! lets hope for the best! Hope I will land in LBS or HEC or any other top B school..... and fly out of this country to some alien land and remain anonymous for next couple of years and make some real reliable acquaintance, trustworthy friends and don't have some real blah relationships!! Hope i am at peace with myself!